Happy 20th Anniversary, Twin Peaks!

I have decided that in honor of the 20th anniversary of Twin Peaks, I want to re-watch all of the episodes of Twin Peaks, the television show that aired on CBS in the 1990's. I own the box set, as well as the movie they made to wrap things up when the series got cancelled, thus making it easy for me to do so. This is an attempt to note everything that I notice that is odd/funny/stands out, as well as memorable quotes. I wish to warn you now, before you get too invested, that this will be a rather lengthy blog, filled with lots of text and only a few videos. This blog will talk about the two seasons that aired on CBS in 1990 and 1991. I will save the movie, Twin Peaks: Fire, Walk With Me, for an entirely different blog.

OPENING CREDITS:

I would like to start with the opening credits. It only seems fitting to start from the beginning. They are quite lengthy for credits. However, if you have never heard of or seen Twin Peaks before, it's a good place to start. It gives you just a small taste of the wondrous music, composed by Angelo Badalamenti, who by the way, is a genius. Please, before you continue, feel free to watch the opening credits, found below. (I recommend that with this video, and the two down at the bottom, you double click them so they open in a new tab or window, as for some reason, it does not show the whole screen when I embed them in the blog).




The next part of this blog will be in three different parts: Memorable Quotes, General Commentary and An attempt to explain the romantic relationships in the show.

MEMORABLE QUOTES:

1. "She's dead, wrapped in plastic." -Pete Martell, describing to the sheriff what he saw while fishing (at this time, they only knew it was a female, and didn't know it was Laura Palmer)

2. "You think that because I wasn't at football practice, that I killed my girlfriend? You are CRAZY!" -Bobby Briggs, to Sheriff Turman after he explains what happened to Laura and that he (Bobby) was not where he was supposed to be that morning

3. “Diane, I am holding in my hand, a small box of chocolate bunnies.” –FBI Agent Dale Cooper, while going through evidence collected from Laura Palmer's room

4. “Flesh world. Oh, and there’s over ten thousand dollars here. That’s a lot of Girl Scout Cookies.” –Agent Cooper, talking about the contents of Laura Palmer’s safe deposit box

5. “This is--excuse me--a DAMN fine cup of coffee. I've had I don't know how many cups of coffee in my life, but this is one of the best." -FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper, about the coffee at The Great Northern Hotel

6. "Pete: And how do you take your coffee, Agent Cooper?
Cooper: Black as midnight on a moonless night.
Pete: Pret-ty black" -Pete Martell and Agent Cooper, when Cooper and Sheriff Harry S. Truman went to go question Josie Packard about Laura Palmer (who tutored Josie in English)

7. “Gentlemen! Don’t drink that coffee! You’ll never guess! There was a fish. (short pause) In the Percolator!”-Pete Martell, to Cooper and Truman when they visit Josie to ask her questions about Laura Palmer

8. . “In the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds, Fire, Walks With Me.” –Philip Michael Gerard (aka Mike), the one armed man

9. "She's filled with secrets. Where we're from the birds sing a pretty song, and there's always music in the air." -Little Man from Another Place, who Cooper sees in his dreams in the Red Room

10. "Dale: “But it is Laura Palmer. You’re Laura Palmer.”
Laura Palmer: “I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.”" -From one of Dale Cooper's many dreams about the Red Room

11. “This must be where pies go when they die.” –Agent Cooper talking about the pie at the Double R Diner

12. “Finally. It’s about time you showed up. They move so slowly when they’re not afraid. Come on then. My log does not judge.” –Log Lady, to Cooper, Truman, Deputy Hawk and Doc Hayward when they find a cabin in the woods

13. “This smoke inhalation is serious business. I feel like someone taped my lips to the tailpipe of a bus.” –Pete Martell, after the Packard Mill fire

14. “You wear shiny objects on your chest. Are you proud?” –Log Lady to Major Briggs

15. "Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee." -FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper to Sheriff Harry S. Truman, while they are working around the clock on the Laura Palmer Case

16. “This is an outrage! She’s only been living in this town for 15 minutes!”- the Mayor of Twin Peaks when Annie Blackburn (Norma Jennings' sister) is announced the winner of Miss Twin Peaks


GENERAL COMMENTARY:

1. It's kinda funny that Leland Palmer knows his daughter, Laura Palmer, is dead before Sheriff Harry S. Truman tells him she is dead. He sees the Sheriff walk into The Great Northern, and he starts sobbing and saying "My Laura, she's dead."

2. The principal at the school is grief stricken when he learns Laura is dead/makes the announcement to the rest of the school that Laura is dead. Everyone seems grief stricken, but Donna Hayward (Doc Hayward's daughter and Laura's best friend) and James Hurley seem to be even more sad than everyone else. (Which is understandable, seeing as they were Laura's best friends.)

3. There is a photo of Laura Palmer in the trophy case at the high school.

4. Ronette Pulaski, daughter of one of the mill workers, also went missing the same time Laura did and didn't show up to school, and no one seems to care except for the Sheriff. Catherine Packard Martell doesn't give a crap and doesn't want her brother's wife, Josie Packard, who owns the mill (since he has allegedly died in a boating accident last year.), to let the workers go home early to be with their families. Josie does it anyway.

5. Catherine Martell calls Josie Packard a bitch to one of the employees, then fires him when Josie decides to close the mill for the day because Laura Palmer was found dead and their coworker's daughter is missing. Ronette Pulaski was later found wandering on the train tracks and admitted to the hospital because she had obviously been attacked and had no idea where she was.

6. . James was in love with Laura Palmer. They were dating, yet James kisses Donna in the woods the night Laura died. Where is the grieving process?

7. FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper, who has been assigned to the Laura Palmer case, talks to a tape recorder and before he says whatever he needs to say, he says the name Diane. Sometimes this happens when he is driving, other times when he is hanging upside down from the doorframe, or just sitting down.

8. Laura's shrink, Dr. Jacoby, is a nut job. (He has a secret love for her, and he has one of her tapes (the one from the night she died) that she recorded herself talking to him and he stole the half of her necklace that James and Donna buried in the woods. Creep.

9. Laura did cocaine.

10. Andy Brennan, one of the deputies is a sensitive guy, and cries at crime scenes when someone is found dead. He is in love with Lucy Moran, the receptionist/dispatcher at the sheriff station.

11. Audrey Horne, daughter of the owner of The Great Northern hotel, Benjamin Horne, pokes a hole in a coffee cup, releasing coffee all over the concierge’s desk, getting an important paper wet. The concierge uses other important papers to clean up said mess, when the tissue doesn’t work.

12. At the crime scene in the train car, there is a mound of dirt with half a locket on top and at the bottom a piece of newsprint with the words “Fire Walk With Me” written on it in blood. James had the other half of the necklace, until he and Donna buried it, then Dr. Jacoby stole it. The police think the killer may have the other half. (Boy are they wrong!)

13. Dale Cooper flirts with Audrey Horne over breakfast. She has a thing for him.

14. The laundry machines are outside at Shelly Johnson’s house. There are drawers and things too. It’s like a room outside. There are also unfinished renovations throughout the whole house. The walls are framed, but there is plastic covering them to keep the weather/small animals (i'm guessing) out.

15. Donna Hayward’s PJ's are an oversized hockey jersey and leggings.

16. Yes, turning the radio on softly will totally mask the sound of you beating your wife with a bar of soap in a sock, Leo Johnson. Way to go, buddy. #SpousalAbuseFAIL

17. Twin Peaks is full of cheaters/unfaithful people. The cheaters wear their wedding rings when they cheat. No one seems to notice. Or give a damn.

18. Hawk’s “pursuit” of the one armed man snooping around the hospital near the morgue/Ronette Pulaski’s room consisted of following him down a hall and stepping in the door way and looking down another hall where he went. #CriminalPursuitFAIL

19. If anyone in real life likes coffee a much as Dale Cooper, they really need to seek professional help. I’m serious.

20. Leland, smearing blood from your cut hands on Laura’s picture isn’t going to bring her back. Sorry dude.

21. The kids haven’t been to school since the pilot episode. The next time they appear in school, is when Nadine comes out of her coma and thinks she is a senior in high school.

22. Sarah Palmer can see Bob, but I don’t think she knows what/who Bob is.

23. There are secret passageways in The Great Northern that let you spy into Ben Horne’s office. Creepy. Sketch.

24. James Hurley has a thing for Maddy, Laura’s cousin. At the Double R Diner, Hank Jennings (Norma's convict husband) is listening in like a creeper when James and Donna tell Maddy they want to investigate Laura's death.

25. Maddy saw a blood stain in the carpet that wasn’t really there.

26. Time passes so slowly in Twin Peaks. It took three or so episodes to get through one night.

27. Smoking was allowed in hospitals, even around all that oxygen.

28. Everyone is always eating pie in Twin Peaks.

29. Dale Cooper has dreams about the Laura Palmer case. Major Briggs also has similar visions in his sleep.

30. I think Donna and Maddy are secretly lesbians and want to be with each other.

31. Ronette Pulaski can also see Bob.

32. When Cooper drank the coffee at Pete Martell’s earlier, Harry never did, yet when they went to the Double R diner later, he menionted he couldn’t get the fish taste out of his mouth. #CongruityInTheStoryFAIL

33. Harry S. Truman does not say yeah, he says hyeahhh.

34. In Sheriff Harry S. Truman’s office there is a buck trophy hanging on the wall and a sign hanging from it that says “The Buck Stopped Here”

35. There is an imaginary drum set playing along with James, Maddy and Donna when they are singing together. There are also weird backup vocals and different voice effects, yet no hardware to generate said effects anywhere in sight.

36. Maddy can also see Bob.

37. I love how Maddy screams when she sees Bob, yet only James and Donna rush to her, yet Doc Hayward is upstairs. How can he not hear her screaming?

38. The judge uses Cooper and Truman’s help to decide whether to try Leo Johnson or not.

39. The judge, Cooper and Truman drank alcohol at the bar while deliberating. Court is held in a bar. Word.

40. Sarah Palmer realizes she has been drugged (by her husband, Leland Palmer/Bob) with cocaine when she sees a white horse appear then disappear in her livingroom.

41. I cannot believe they showed Bob making out with Maddy/raping her while he /Leland were killing her. (It’d be cool if Eliot Stabler, Olivia benson, Fin Tutuola, and John Munch busted in and arrested his ass for being a sketchy pedophile/rapist).

42. Leland plays golf in his home after killing Maddy. Yes, that's right. In his home.

43. The only definite clue of how many days has passed is the episode right after the one where Leland kills himself/dies. It says: three days later.

44. Sheriff Truman always packs heat, even at the reception after Leland Palmer’s funeral. Is being the Sheriff of Twin Peaks literally a 24/7 job?

45. Cooper has a shirt and tie on under a fishing vest, yet later when he goes fishing with Major Briggs, he has on a flannel shirt under his vest. #WardrobeFAIL

46. People in Twin Peaks are obsessed with sucking face.

47. Half of Shelly Johnson’s walls are plastic. So when she can't escape from Leo when he attacks her after he snaps out of his coma, why doesn’t she think to just bust out a wall when she cant get the door open? #EscapeFAIL

48. Apparently all you need to do to get a divorce in Twin Peaks is to ask the other person and its finalized. No paperwork or messy court fights.

49. After Ben Horne gets arrested and then released, he snaps and starts reinacting the civil war with little figurines and he makes it so the south wins. #HistoryFAIL

50. Leo Johnson is one of the skeeziest/creepiest TV characters ever.

51. After giving up cigars, Ben Horne switches to raw celerey and carrots. He keeps them in his jacket where his cigars used to be, and just goes to town munching on them whole.

52. The box of donuts Annie gives Cooper at the Double R diner says Donuts Donuts, but it is in the colors of dunkin donuts. (What the WHAT?!)

53. Benjamin Horne is Donna Hayward's biological father.

54. Leo seems nicer after his coma when he was a captive of Windom Earle. He wants Major Briggs to save Shelly.

55. Windom Earle is a creepy MoFo.


THE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS OF TWIN PEAKS:

Laura Palmer: Dating Bobby Briggs. Had secret relationship for two months with James Hurley. Only Donna Hayward knew about this. Was raped by Bob, who was really her father, Lealand Palmer’s alter-ego.

Donna Hayward: Dating Mike Nelson, Bobby Briggs’ friend. Had a side relationship with James Hurley after Laura died.

Leland Palmer: Married to his wife, Sarah Palmer. His alter-ego, Bob raped and killed Laura Palmer, his daughter, his niece Maddy Ferguson, and Theresa Banks (from Hungry Horse, Montana who was also killed by the same person). He (Bob) raped/left for dead Ronette Pulaski.

Catherine Packard Martell: Married to Pete Martell. Had an affair with Benjamin Horne.

Benjamin Horne: Married to his wife, Sylvia Horne. He has affair with Catherine Martell. He also, being the owner of One Eye’d Jack’s has a ton of prostitutes that he sees on the side from the perfume counter of his store that he owns. (he selects certain girls from the counter for “special work/promotions”). He also had a relationship with Eileen Hayward a long time ago (20 years ago), as he is Donna Hayward's biological father.

Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Relationship with josie Packard.

Josie Packard: Relationship with Sheriff Truman. Her husband, Andrew Packard (Catherine Martell's brother) allegedly died in a boating accident a year and a half prior. He later re-appears, but she had no idea he was still alive. Appears to have some kind of secret on/off relationship thing with Ben Horne.

Bobby Briggs: Dating Laura Palmer until her death. Has relations with Shelly Johnson.

Ed Hurley: Married to Nadine. Has affair with Norma from the diner.

Norma Jennings: Married to Hank Jennings, a convict. Relationship with Ed Hurley.

Nadine Hurley: Married to Ed. Relationship with Mike Nelson, a senior at Twin Peaks High, when she comes out of her coma and thinks she is a senior in high school.

Shelly Johnson: Married to trucker Leo Johnson. Seeing Bobby Briggs on the side.

Leo Johnson: Married to Shelly Johnson.

James Hurley: Dated Laura Palmer secretly. Dating Donna Hayward after Laura died. Has a thing for Maddy, Laura’s cousin while dating Donna. Also has a "one night stand" with a woman, Vivian Niles, whose car he fixes.

Eileen Hayward: Married to Doc Hayward. Had a past relationship with Ben Horne


That was an attempt to notate all of the relationships I could think of. There are a lot.

Now, in closing, I leave you with two videos. They are parodies of Twin Peaks. Enjoy.

The first is Twin Beaks, a Sesame Street Monsterpiece Theater parody:




The second is called Twin Bricks, a parody made with Legos. It is a quite good summary of the show, so if you haven't seen Twin Peaks, you should definitely watch this:





Happy 20th Anniversary, Twin Peaks.

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